Who I Am
by Molly Jae
Summary: “So,” said Shane from somewhere. “What do you say, Caitlyn?”...“Will you love Nate for who he is?” Jason asked. --Songfic to Who I Am by Nick Jonas and The Administration--


**A/N:** Songfic to _Who I Am by Nick Jonas and The Administration_.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own the song or Camp Rock.

* * *

"And this last song is for you, Caitlyn Marie Gellar." I said. The crowd went wild. They cheered and chanted Naitlyn over and over again. I looked over to the backstage area. There, clad in her skinny jeans, her high top converse, and her green shirt, was Caitlyn, looking surprised as ever.

"Come on over, Caitlyn!" Shane said, walking towards her and bringing her out. Jason placed two chairs beside me. I sat on one and Shane sat Caitlyn on the other. She sent me a panicked and confused look.

I took a deep breath and then began to sing. I closed my eyes as I had a few flashbacks.

"_**I want someone to love me  
for who I am.  
I want someone to need me.  
Is that so bad?  
I wanna break all the madness  
but it's all I have.  
I want someone to love me  
for who I am."**_

"_And I was so sure that she was the one, Cait!" I said, picking up a pebble, propelling it towards the sky._

"_Well," She said uneasily. "You know what they say; there are plenty of fish in the sea." I've never really asked her for advice. I mean, this isn't the first time I came to her after a break up, but this is the first time we were talking about it at my house. Normally, I'd come over to hers and just ask her to listen._

"_Yeah," I said grumpily. "But why can't those fishes be more like you, Cait?" She went silent, and I went on, "I mean you like me for me, right? And you don't care about my fame, right?"_

_She nodded, "Duh." She rolled her eyes. "You do know that if all I wanted was fame, I won't be with you right now. I'd be with Mitchie, who is probably walking down the red carpet right now."_

_The corners of my lips twitched and she laughed. I turned to her with a raised brow and pout._

"_I just find it funny when the corners of your mouth twitch." She told me in between laughs. I faked an annoyed look before laughing with her._

"_You see," I said, after our laughter has died down. "That's another thing I like about you."_

"_What?" She asked in confusion. "I laugh at you?"_

_I shook my head and smiled at her, "You treat me like a real person."_

_**Nothing makes sense.  
Nothing makes sense anymore.  
Nothing is right.  
Nothing is right when you're gone.  
Losing my breath.  
Losing my right to be wrong.  
I'm frightened to death.  
I'm frightened that I won't be strong.**_

___I looked deep into her chocolate brown eyes. They were filled with tears, and I couldn't bear to see her sad. And it doesn't really make sense, because she would always be the comforter, while I, the comforted._

"_Tell me it's not true, Cait!" I said, taking hold of her arms. "Tell me you aren't leaving." She shook her head, and I pulled her to me, wrapping my arms around her, hugging her tight._

"_When?" I asked hoarsely._

"_Tomorrow." She whispered I felt my shirt getting wet, but I didn't mind. Her tears were soaking my shirt, and I didn't give a damn. I still don't, actually. I was too scared to think about anything else._

_She was leaving. And she won't come back for another five years. Her parents decided to ship her to a boarding school for music, arts, and theatre. And during the summers, she is to spend time only with her parents._

"_Why didn't you tell me sooner?" I asked, a bit hurt, because I had to find out from Shane. She pulled away from me and looked me straight in the eye._

"_You'd do something stupid and reckless." She answered with a small smile. I shook my head._

"_So?"_

"_I'm supposed to be the reckless one, remember?" She said, touching my cheek. "You're the silent moody one."_

_I laughed, but it wasn't out of happiness, it was just to assure her that I might make it through without her. Of course, in reality, I was afraid. I was afraid I won't be strong enough to live without her._

_Without her quirks._

_Without her laugh._

_Her smile…_

_And just…her._

_**I want someone to love me  
for who I am.  
I want someone to need me.  
Is that so bad?  
I wanna break all the madness  
but it's all I have.  
I want someone to love me  
for who I am.**_

___It's been three years since Caitlyn's departure._

_I opened the passenger's seat's door for Miley. She walked out and pretended to trip. Of course, I had to catch her._

_She bit her lip, "Clumsy me." I gave her a tightlipped smile and helped her up._

"_Be careful next time." I told her._

"_I had a great time, Nate." She said, batting her eyelashes. I smiled at her. It was a fake smile. But she didn't have to know that. I was on my way back to the driver's seat of my car when I heard her voice again._

"_Don't I get a goodbye kiss?" She asked with a pout. I laughed to myself inwardly. When Caitlyn finds out about this she'll – oh yeah, no communication for two more years._

_I gave Miley a chaste kiss and then that's when I heard it – A camera snap._

"_Ooh," said Miley. "Papparazi! Smile Natey!" She wrapped her arms around me._

_I quickly pulled her arms off, "You're just another fame hungry bi – girl! Just… we're over. Got that?!"_

_Walking quickly, I got in my car and drove off. That night, I tried calling Caitlyn twenty three times. Literally. I counted._

_But she didn't answer. Not once._

_**I'm shaking it off.  
I'm shaking off all of the pain.  
You're breaking my heart,  
breaking my heart once again.**_

_It's been exactly four years, three hundred and sixty four days, five hours and two minute since she left. But then again, who's counting? I tried calling her, I mean, she'll be back by tomorrow, any ways, so she'll answer, right?_

_Wrong._

_I felt my heart break. I really did miss her. Why can't she even bother to answer my calls?_

_**I want someone to love me for who I am.  
I want someone to need me.  
Is that so bad?  
I wanna break all the madness  
but it's all I have.  
I want someone to love me  
for who I am.**_

_Caitlyn arrived two weeks ago, but sadly, I wasn't able to welcome her back. We (the band and I) have been too busy preparing for our Asian Tour. Sadly, our music producer had bailed, because Taylor Swift's manager, who also happened to be our producer's cousin had offered her the position as Taylor's producer… so yeah._

_We had to fix some papers…_

_And now our dad has supposedly found the 'perfect one'._

_I stared at the door as I idly strummed my guitar._

_We were in a recording studio. The very same one where Caitlyn had told me she was leaving._

"_She's here, kids." Our dad said, and before I could even put down my guitar, Caitlyn entered the room._

_My eyes widened and I (literally) dropped my guitar and enveloped her in a fierce hug._

_**Are you gonna love me  
(yeah)  
for who I am?  
**_

_We had just finished recording, and I had asked Caitlyn if she wanted some drinks._

"_Why didn't you answer my calls?" I asked her, taking a drink of my bottled water. She blinked and then frowned._

"_My parents didn't tell you?" She asked, chugging down some Gatorade. "They took my phone away, saying it would interfere with my studies." My gaze hardened. And she automatically rubbed my back, effectively calming me down._

_I nodded, "Well I'm glad you're back." I said, taking her in for another hug. "I've loved you Caitlyn…"_

"_What?" She asked, pulling away. She looked at me with her wide, surprised, and curious eyes._

"_I – uh – I mean…" I sighed. It was already out, wasn't it? "I love you, Cait."_

_She opened her mouth to speak, but I shushed her with a kiss. I was glad when she responded, but the moment was interrupted by Danielle, Jason's wife, and Mitchie, Shane's girlfriend._

"_We need the two of you inside, sorry." Danielle said, pointing to the door. I nodded and we reentered the studio._

_**I want someone to love me  
for who I am.  
I want someone to need me.  
Is that so bad?  
I wanna break all the madness  
but it's all I have.**__  
__**I want someone to love me  
for who I am.  
(Yeah)  
Who I am."**_

The last flashback happened two days ago. Caitlyn and I hadn't gotten some alone time in those days. So I'm basically risking a lot doing this.

As I finished singing, I opened my eyes.

"So," said Shane from somewhere. "What do you say, Caitlyn?"

"Will you love Nate for who he is?" Jason asked.

The crowd cheered, they squealed and they yelled, but they seemed so distant. I could feel my heart pounding hard in my chest, and I was afraid Caitlyn might not feel the same way.

"Come on, Cait!" I heard Danielle's voice.

"Yeah, Caity!" Mitchie urged. She handed Caitlyn the microphone.

"Uh…" She began. "YES!"

"Yes what?" Mitchie and Danielle asked together.

"Yes, I'll love Nate for who he is." She said with a smile and a blush.

I grinned and walked towards her just as she stood up. I wrapped my arms from behind her and she gasped.

"I love you so much!" I whispered in her ear.

"I love you too," she replied. "Natey!" She laughed, and I took tighter hold of her, and swung her around. She squealed and everyone laughed at us.


End file.
